Monday, September 24, 2007

League VII- Game II

So the Tye-dyed hippies emerge once again victorious. Even without Mark and Ralph as subs, the Blue Balled Anal Suck wads pulled off a decisive win.
The speed and hucking power of the hippies is definitely a force to be reckoned with. But the game was much closer this week with a final score of:

Blue Balled Anal Suck wads: 12
Genetically Modified Afterbirths: 10
Veggie Skid marks: 8

I'd like to highlight the wonderful comeback of the green team (maybe you should fake more injuries, Timber...and call more fouls). So next week we will continue our name giving...the tye-dyes name the reds (time to get us back), the reds name the greens, and the greens name the tye-dyes. Also, please remember to give your captain $5 for the party. Everyone have a wonderful week and let's have another spirited and fun game next Sunday.
your commissioner,
p.s. I will not be at next week's game so Dr. Jonathan Price will be acting commissioner. Please show him the same respect you all show me (so rag on him the whole time).

Tuesday, September 18, 2007

Fall League: Game 1

The first battle has been fought, but the war is not over. The psychedelic smurfs cruised to an opening victory yesterday evening (maybe next week we won't give them Ralph and Mark as subs). But the competition was wonderful and the game was pleasantly intense even with the exhausted Swing of Fire team on a 4 hour ultimate marathon.

The final score: psychedelic smurfs: 15, money: 9, menstrual minstrels: 8.

Though these names seem adequate enough we will be putting a slight twist on next week's match-up. The tye-dye's name the green's, the green's name the red's, and the red's name the tye-dye's.
Also, your commissioner and a highly select and confidential committee have formulated a new plan for team positions and directions of the pulls for the beginning of the game and at halftime (does that make any sense?) which is fair to all teams and one that not even Timber can b***h about. Just a reminder, bring $5 to your captain for the final party. Everyone have a wonderful week and see you all on Sunday at 4 p.m. but contrary to flying rumors, we will not begin until 4:30 p.m.
your faithful, yet sometimes confused commissioner,

Monday, September 10, 2007

Player Profile - JP

First Name: JP
Field Name: JP
Profession: Professor
Age: 34
Favorite Field Position: Doggie-Style (as in "you throw it, I'll chase it down... like a dawg!")
Left or right handed: I need both hands.
Skirt or shorts: Chah!?! Pink Panties!
Lefthand point or zone (i.e. silly or serious) : Gotta go with the southpaw
Your best skill: Boatracing
When and where did you start playing?: Washington, DC, 2003
How long have you played in Hilo?: 3 years
Why do you play?: Because I didn't make the cut for the Dallas Cowboy Cheerleaders.
Any injuries?: A badly fractured sense of decency.
Ultimate memory: Hopu Ka Lewa 8: Getting mobbed by several women in panties after a one-handed catch for a score wearing my underwear and a wrestling mask with a beer in my hand.

Picture: JP protecting his secret identity at Hopu 8!

Thursday, September 06, 2007

Potlatch Remembered